wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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