found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
