Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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