yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
