Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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