it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
