white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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