dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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