i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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