and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
