yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
