I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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