shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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