Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
