you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My vagina is very pro this idea
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
