thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize