Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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