you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize
