doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
