just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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