yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
