Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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