I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
