my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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