how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
