You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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