I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
