i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize