ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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