i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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