I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
