hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
