I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's official drugs can't kill me
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
