Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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