i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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