I'm drive I can fine osifer
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
