My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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