hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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