Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Apparently you make a good broom.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
