I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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