he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
