I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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