The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
