I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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