I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
