is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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