I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
