I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
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