Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
