all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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