it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
