So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
