ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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