what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize