I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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