Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
