We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
