i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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