a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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