Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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